"It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all." 💕 What a load of crap! 😠 I've loved and lost a few times and it was never 'better' than anything. In fact, it sucked...hard. 😞 Yesterday however, when recounting my last amorous effort, while sunbathing in hopes of being Hershey™ dark chocolate brown by September, I suddenly had an epiphany that resulted in overwhelming feelings of exuberance, clarity and freedom. 😊 Unlike amorous efforts of days long past, this last time, I really did everything I could to make it work. I was caring, honest and loving, though maybe a little manic at times. 😏 I was very upfront about what I needed from them (Communication, mainly) and I offered to do whatever *I* could to make sure that they had what they needed from me too.😶 My offer even included examining (and RE-examining) my own erratic personality to keep that from interfering with relationship progress. 💓 Look, I'm not saying that I did everything right, in fact, I can recall a few things that I may have done wrong. I'm just saying that I did everything that was humanly possible for ME to do...and it still didn't "work out". Now really think about that for a minute. 😧💭 This is NOT an old love story where you should have done this or said that. 😟 This is NOT one of those times where you knew you could've given more back then, but you just didn't feel like it at the time. 😐 This is NOT a Tale of Woe brought on by the fact that you took things for granted when you probably could have turned them around. 👥 This is an instance where you can TRULY say to yourself, "I gave it ALL I HAD and it just wasn't enough". Where can you reasonably go with a relationship after a realization like that? Exactly, nowhere! 😡 That's the °period° at the end of an exhaustively long run-on sentence. 😳 Can you imagine how incredibly liberating that is? 😁 After your (self) emancipation from emotional (self) enslavement, the proverbial dark clouds⛈ part and the ever-glowing beacon of positivity suddenly consumes the sky, bathing all of God's glorious creatures in bright light💡. (Sorry for the exhaustively long run-on sentence. 😜) My conscious is clear. My good deeds are done. My best efforts did not yield fruit in THAT instance. I can't turn back time and if I could, I truly couldn't see myself doing anything any different. 😐 I'm not claiming that every break-up has a silver lining. Frankly, I hate that feeling of loss and failure because it can be so depressingly all-encompassing sometimes. 😖 Hell, if I could choose an alternate ego for myself, I'd probably choose to be an unemotional Fem-Bot with exceptional manners and a great azz. Truthfully though, I'm doing the very best I can with what I've got. 😢 Don't get me wrong, I love♥ every kind of LOVE, I truly do. ❤ I love♥ learning positive things about myself when suffering from any kind of loss. I love♥ that I can bravely face the future without whining about an unchangeable past. I love♥ that I feel happy, blessed and totally where I should be in life. I'm right on track and at peace. 💟 I did what I could and now that story is ready for the history books. (Filed under Fabulously Free Fem-Bot Wannabes. 🤖) I am free from regret. I am free from hurt. I am free from longing. I am blessedly, happily, thankfully and immeasurably FREE......until I fall for the next clown. 🤡
I'm FREE!
