"ZONK! ZONK! ZONK!" My alarm clock screams at me. OMG, it's 7:30AM already?! I'll hit the snooze button a couple of times and maybe I'll gather the strength to get out of bed. (Snooze button, one.) Nope, can't do it. I'm not there yet. Good, I actually drift back off to sleep.
Sleep is not an easy task for me without Ambien or alcohol. "ZONK! ZONK! ZONK!" (Snooze button, two.) Still not there. I'm gonna lay here until I absolutely HAVE to get up. "ZONK! ZONK! ZONK!" (Snooze button, three.) Not quite there. I'll just stare at my ceiling until I can swing my legs over the side of the bed. Sis bursts into the room and tells me that with the icy streets, I better try to get out earlier today. She's right. I drag myself to the bathroom and slowly slide the toothpaste over my toothbrush. I go back to bed and I brush my teeth while sitting on the end of my bed. I'm not happy. I know it. But worse still, I know I'm the only one who can do anything about it. This is gonna be hard. I decide to start my "dietary lifestyle change" today instead of the first of the year. It'll be my Christmas gift to myself. Well, a gift to my pants, that top button has been working way too hard lately. I gotta make a change, I have to do SOMETHING. I go back to the bathroom, rinse off my toothbrush and start the shower. Oh lawd, this'll be a hard day to get through. Sis reminds me to take my meds, offers me coffee, breakfast and to warm up the truck.
How can I be so sad with a sister so lovely? 
She's really an angel that's ALWAYS so good to me but she senses that I'm sad and takes even more mercy on me this morning. 
I shower and attempt to get dressed. Ugh, nothing looks right on me. 
Oh well, I'll wear this...'comfort over cute' has been my motto lately, why stop now? 
Thanks to Sis, the truck's warm and I start my morning trek for a paycheck. 
Look at that jerk coming up so fast behind me! Hey, there's ice everywhere, dumbazz!!! If this jerk runs into the back of me, I'm gonna get out of this truck and beat the azz of whoever's behind the wheel and I don't care how big they are. 
Good, they turned off. I don't need to be fighting when I'm this stressed, I'm liable to kill. 
Especially when somebody changed my radio station from the classic rock station I'd been listening to for months but can't remember the station numbers to. 
Figures. 
Uh oh, I'm sad again. Though I'm peeved to be listening to a station I'm not familiar with, I hear a voice I'm familiar with and I begin to feel hopeful and sad at the same time. Oh no, here come the waterworks. Why am I crying? Oh, I dunno; this, that and the other. Sh!t, I hope I can see icy patches in the road through my tears. Suck it up girl! You're a woman. You're a strong, intelligent woman that just needs to man up!
Wow, there's hardly anybody on the roads this morning. Good for me because Texans aren't the best drivers on icy streets. 
Oh look, there's so few people at work that I even get a parking place in the front of the building today. I'm not in the mood to work or see anyone but it's time for me to put on my workday game face and push myself through the day. I'll reserve falling apart for when I get back home, maybe. Or, maybe I won't need to fall apart at all. I can do this. I got this. Breathe. 
Okay, I think I can face the day...and I did. It's now 1:27 AM, I'm STILL up and I have a few short hours to do this all over again, hopefully, better next time. Funny thing is, no matter how bad the day starts, no matter how bad it goes and no matter how bad it ends, I'll be blessed to have another one. I guess I should try to remember that. Yep, tomorrow will be a better day. Well, I'm certainly gonna try for one at least. You know I'll keep you posted. You're the only thing keeping me from strong anti-psychotic drugs and a long, extended stay at a mental hospital, so I'm afraid you're stuck with me.
Don't laugh, this is the song I heard on that radio station that made me cry.
http://chaunybaby.wordpress.com/2012/12/27/inside-my-head/