Saturday, September 3, 2016

Famous Last Words (Act II)

The following is result of Operation Blog Recovery (Of what I could retrieve): The following content is collected from a platform that is no longer operational. Gaps and spaces in the formatted text could be the result of broken and/or expired emoticons, links or web-hosted pictures. You can be assured that the opinions and thoughts expressed are from the original writing. Hell, I’m not even going to correct spelling or grammar. Enjoy! Or not.

Originally posted on 10/9/2009

If you didn't read yesterday's blog, this entry won't make any sense to you. So, you should either read the 'Famous Last Words' blog first or skip this one altogether. After bragging about my superior communication skills in yesterday's entry, I hope can accurately convey to you just how eerily spooked I was this morning. My early morning workday regime is pretty routine; I recheck work from the previous day, get some of my daily tasks done and then sign into CNN.com & MSN.com. I like to be plugged-in to the world, especially when I'm at work. Today, I do my early morning work then proceed to CNN.com, only discover that 'as a world shocker', President Obama has won the Noble Peace Prize for "extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples."  I know I joked about winning the Noble Peace Prize at the end of yesterday's entry but I really don't follow that stuff and generally have no idea who’s even nominated until after the winner is announced. How eerie is it that I mentioned the Noble Peace Prize here for the first time, and then Obama, another African American icon like myself, wins it?! I don't even know when the coveted Noble Peace Prize winners are announced...and then SMACK, right in my face the very next day. That was a cool coincidence but a little creepy since I pulled the whole 'Noble Peace Prize' reference outta my azz yesterday. Strange! That was the first eerily ironic thing that happened this morning. After I get over the shock of that, I'm instantly drawn to another story on the CNN.com homepage titled 'Gun-toting soccer mom, husband shot dead.' I immediately click on the link to see that it's a story in the 'crime' section that tells of how 31 yr old Meleanie Hain, had recently grabbed national headlines and become an overnight "celebrity" by bringing a loaded, holstered (Glock) handgun to her 5 year old daughter's soccer game. The story described lawsuits and Second Amendment Rights (The right to keep and bear arms). The article revealed that it took the SWAT team an hour and a half (after the 911 call) to gain entrance to the residence. When they entered, they immediately find the bodies of Hain and her 33 yr old husband, Scott...both shot to death. The investigation is still ongoing but they believe it was a murder-suicide. The story ended with Hain's attorney calling the shooting "sadly ironic." Didn't my entry yesterday expose my extreme fear of becoming a story in the crime section of CNN.com that would be strangely 'ironic'? Spooky! So to get my mind off of the shockingly paradoxical parallels, I quickly go to MSN.com. The first article I notice is by Tim Jarvis (of O magazine) titled "Change One Little Word.." The article describes how to effectively communicate with people by tweaking one little word in a sentence, so that your message would be better received and readily understood. Wasn't I just boasting in the last entry about how fantastically I communicate with people by my 'well chosen words'? Startling! I promise you that yesterday, when I wrote that entry, I had NO prior knowledge of ANY of the stories I so eerily discovered and uncovered this morning...none whatsoever. I'm beginning to feel that I'm spontaneously morphing into 2009's version of Miss Cleo, without the fake Caribbean accent. No, no, not Miss Cleo, someone far greater than her. (Though she was pretty great). Am I really becoming a bona fide psychic symbol of a New Age? Could it be? Is it possible? Sure it is! I can just see the headlines now; Charitable ChaunyBaby, The Compassionate Clairvoyant. This is so exciting! I'm already contemplating my acceptance speech and 'special thanks' list (don't worry, you're on it). Ooo, maybe I'll even get my own talk show too! I'm sure I'd crush Oprah with my staggering, history-making TV ratings. The media blitz would be phenomenal! No doubt the tickets for my speaking lectures & book tours will sell out in minutes. Building my empire won't be cheap, so I'll need to hire a good team for the t-shirts, key chains and bumper stickers. Every piece of AUTHORIZED ChaunyBaby merchandise will include my prominent forehead, cartoon eyes and trademark bright, gummy smile.  I know how all of this might sound but I promise you, I will wield this special gift with respect and responsibility. Few are bestowed this glorious honor but my talents will be used for the absolute good of all humanity, not just the 'privileged' few. I will usher in an era that will reshape the entire world! I am ChaunyBaby, hear me roar! (Raaawwwwrrrrr!) ðŸ˜† Okay, I know, the whole 'superior gag' may be running on a little long and thin. You know me, I'm just having a little fun.  Those stories this morning really *did* weird me out but I'm not really that 'big-headed' about that kind of stuff. I don't need exaggerated proclamations of my superiority to inflate the size of my head, DNA has already done that for me.




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