Million Penny Hoe

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Originally posted on 11/12/2009

Current mood:  stalked
Category: Romance and Relationships

And so it begins...again. I'm pretty positive that the steady stream of answered calls I've been getting everyday lately, from unfamiliar numbers, are coming from the infamous ex.  I'd already told you that he'd called me from his own number a few days ago but like usual, I didn't answer.  I just got another call not even 15 minutes ago. I guess he figures that if he calls me everyday from different numbers unrecognizable to me, he'll eventually get lucky when I drop my guard and answer one.  I suppose that depends on your definition of "lucky" because I can't imagine what he'll say to me if I fall prey to his telephone trickery. I'm pretty sure what I'd say to him though, and it ain't gonna be nice. Several months ago, I told you how I decided to bury the hatchet with him but not in his back, like I wanted to before.  At the time, he seemed a lot more sane than he was when we were together. He seemed more mature and focused.  It wasn't long before he made me sorry I'd let him get his big toe in the door. What I didn't tell you then, was that there was one moment of weakness in which I'd considered making him my "special" friend. He'd forever lost the dignified distinction of "boyfriend" but I wasn't seeing anyone at the time, so it seemed like a plausible proposition, at least until I found somebody I actually wanted to be with.  But that decision was not only NOT thought out thoroughly, it was also vodka-driven. The alcohol hadn't even worn off when he started making unreasonable demands of me, which for me, was more sobering than a bucket of ice water poured over my big head. So I closed that door forever, reinforced it with heavy duty nails, railroad screws and blast-proof bank vault entry with a lock that had the combination written on a piece of paper that I chewed up, swallowed, evacuated and flushed down the toilet. I guess you get the picture. Seriously though, I wouldn't go back to him for a million dollars.....well.....uh.....I wouldn't go back to him for a million pennies.  Wait, let me think about that for a minute.....hell.....actually, I could do a lot with a million pennies too.  Shit, that's like 10,000 dollars!  For that kind of money, I could probably stay with him for 48 hours (yeah, I'm worth it). It's easy to be morally bankrupt with this economy.....(I sure hope you know I'm joking about that last part).

UPDATE 7:37PM CST: It looks like the infamous ex might be off the hook (no pun intended), for the time being. He may only be responsible for half (or less) of the mystery calls.  After just hearing a frustrated voicemail, it appears that some silly, obsessive woman found my name/number in "her man's" phone and jumped to some stupid, unsubstantiated and WAY OFF BASE conclusions about me. Some women can be so incredibly stupid sometimes. Women; remember your dignity for goodness sake! This dumb bitch obviously doesn't have any, so please share some of yours with her.