Originally posted on August 12, 2009
Category : Life
Suppressing My Triple Ds
In the interest of brevity (an unusual behavior for me), I'll make this short & sweet but expressive (a usual behavior for me). I can tell you that the Delusional Depression Demons sure have taken a big ole huge bite outta my ample azz. I refer to them as "delusional" because I know I ultimately have power over me, not them. But the DDDs are sure giving me a "fun" run for my money. I know I claimed in the last entry that I'd keep you posted on any new developments and there really aren't any except this; I strongly feel that I'm being 'tested' by someone or something that thinks they know me very well. Wrong! I detest being tested but I begrudgingly admit, it is sometimes necessary. I'm 100% excluded from the general rule of being tested and testing others by the way. (I'll call it a self-proclaimed birthright with no credible basis in reality). What is real, is that testing me, will likely not result in the expected outcome. Y'all know I can go hard. So this is my response to those 'all-knowing' people or 'all-knowing' forces that think they can read me like an open book: From me, you won't get more than I want to give you...not a single solitary ounce of anything I hold dear, not my dignity, not my pride nor anything else I don't intend for you to have. Even if in a temporarily confused state I give more than I initially intended, I'll take it back with force and without apology. Test me, and watch me use that as fierce fuel to forbear your frivolous fodder. I am sensitive, not weak. I am a powerful woman because I choose to be. And whenever I choose, however infrequent, I choose with forethought, care and appropriate permanence. So give me what you got, so I can come out on top (excuse the unintentional rhyme). Now you can put that in your pipe, light it up and shove it up your raggedy azz! Perhaps my aggressive tone is a result of the southern gangsta rap I've been pumping in my ears almost nonstop for days but I now ascribe to the quadruple Ds folks; Delusional Depression Demons be Damned! I got this! Trust me. It must be noted here that if The Universe has anything planned for me that results in the horrible hurt of my family or loved ones, all bets are off and I take all this back. In that case, I would choose to be a withering soul cowering at your feet, begging for mercy as I bask in the glow of your brilliant magnificence. (That's what you call gold medal groveling). 🥇As the great Kenny Rogers sang, from the classic song The Gambler, You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em. He was so right. Look, I don't know shit about poker but I know when to turn tail and run, in life and love♥. I submit to you that being 'a quitter', in some cases, is a very powerful choice too. I know how that sounds but REALLY think about it. Toxic relationships, negative people and draining situations need only one brave soul to stand up and loudly proclaim,"I quit! No more! I'm done!" and walk away without hesitation. In fact, the word "quitter" is pretty inaccurate to describe me. I think of myself as more of a discriminate deserter. Makes sense doesn't it? Though you might accurately describe me as a literary liar since this entry is much longer than I intended. I might be lavishly long-winded but I'm also right. I have my moments and you shouldn't be surprised by that. Hey, I'm a discriminate deserter, not an absolute idiot.
Posted : 2009-08-12 01:47:00 PM Created : 2009-08-12 02:16:00 PM Visible to : Public
In the interest of brevity (an unusual behavior for me), I'll make this short & sweet but expressive (a usual behavior for me). I can tell you that the Delusional Depression Demons sure have taken a b...
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