Originally Posted : July 16, 2008
Category : Life
The Wacky Wonders Of A Weary Mind
As I sped to work yesterday morning, my thick eyelids threatened to make it a much more interesting morning than I would've intentionally chosen for myself. They seemed to threaten a morning filled with fiery car crashes and pesky insurance claims. My eyelids were so thick and heavy, that they looked like an overzealous quack of a doctor who injected them with expired silicone. A horrible night spent tossing and turning definitely had a heavy impact on yesterday's activity. Understandably, work was a significant challenge. But that was okay, because if work was supposed to be fun and easy all the time, it would be called something else. Honestly, I'm tired of taking sleeping medicine (prescription and over-the-counter). I know that taking medication isn't a healthy, long term solution. Is it regular life stress or something of a more personal nature keeping me up at night? I don't know for sure but my guess is that my problem is an unhealthy (and unholy) mixture of both. I need to be up at 5AM every morning to make it to work on time. Yesterday however, at 1:14, 2:17 and 3:33 in the morning, I was left staring blankly up at the glow-in-the-dark stars I put on my bedroom ceiling...reflecting. During these precarious times of sky-rocketing fuel prices and the recent announcement of several location closings within my company, I reflected on the uncertainty of employment and maintaining my livelihood. I reflected on my next move, should I be severely impacted by my employer's changes. I reflected on being thankful that I don't have children depending on me for everything. Which in turn, made me reflect on my birthday earlier this month and the fact that my eggs are patiently waiting for me to make a maternal move. (A move I'm not prepared to make anytime soon. I tell you, the thought of possibly having old, brown, raisin-like ovaries is enough to keep you up at night. I reflected on my latest disappointment with a guy that I really liked at first. After falsely assigning him with a spirited and unique personality, he turned out to be just a self-absorbed, regular ole guy. A familiar problem with a steady stream of some of the men in my life which, by default, also makes it my problem. I considered revealing all the dirty details of the end of the affair here in my blog, but that's unlikely to cure my debilitating insomnia. The irony is, the self-absorbed, regular ole guy analyzes data for sleep studies as a profession and seemed to know a lot about irregular sleep patterns. So, he would've been a useful friend to have for this problem, if he wasn't a small part of it. Look, I know that I can't do anything about the ridiculously exorbitant fuel prices and the uncertainty of employment. I realize I can't make any decisions about motherhood right now, when I know I don't want to be a mother right now...even when the ticking of my biological clock is loud enough to keep everyone in my cute, quaint and country neighborhood up at night. For some odd reason though, yesterday afternoon I thought that if my latest disappointing, self-absorbed, regular ole guy let me pour piping-hot, lightly-seasoned steamed veggies over his head and slap him in the face (really hard) with a raw sirloin steak, it might cure my insomnia. I know it sounds wacky but it's absolutely true. Then I thought, he probably wouldn't ever volunteer for that. So last night, I dreamt that he did volunteer…and I had the first good night's sleep I'd had in months. The wonders of a weary mind never cease to amaze.
Posted : 2008-07-16 01:01:00 PM Created : 2008-07-16 01:21:00 PM Visible to : Public
Originally posted on July 16, 2008
As I sped to work yesterday morning, my thick eyelids threatened to make it a much more interesting morning than I would've intentionally chosen for myself. They seemed to th...
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