Category : Romance and Relationships
Blog 39
Big Deal, He Wanted To Kick My Azz
Last weekend could've really affected my mood this week but I didn't let it. This past Friday, a guy that I'd been exchanging harmless banter with, got mad at me (livid really), called me a b*tch, threatened to tear the club apart and to kick my azz if I stepped outside. He actually told me he'd knock my head off if I stepped outside! Now, I consider myself a bad azz chick of sorts but I don't think he would've had a hard time knocking me out. I mean, he was about 6'2" and about 250 pounds!!! Yeah right, that would've been a fair fight. You have to wonder about a guy that has no problem knocking a woman's head off because she has a "big" mouth. After our verbal "exchange", his friends were trying to calm him down but they couldn't help him after the club decided to throw him out. He's getting escorted outside, all the while yelling at me, "You and Me OUTSIDE! I'll knock you out, I'll rip your head off!" I just smiled and waved. Of course, my sister (and my official bodyguard) was milometers from throwing a punch at him. Together, we probably could've (eventually) taken him but we probably would've ended up with black eyes due to the scuffle. I have to admit, the angrier he got, the calmer (and more amused) I got, which only added fuel to the fire. I'll also confess that I was in a kind of a bad mood that night and when he "went left" on me, my mood was instantly lifted. I know what you're thinking, 'what in the world did you say to this guy to make him that angry’? Nothing much really, just a playful war of words (at least, it was playful at first). Actually, I don't think it was completely all me, the guy had some rather obvious insecurity issues. He wasn't very good looking (which I'm sure he knew) and his breath stank (though I didn't tell him that). I think his problem was that he couldn't keep up with me (verbally) and he felt stupid. His friend (one of the ones that tried to calm him later) and I engaged in the same friendly, passive-aggressive banter but he could keep up, so he was amused and it was fun. I don't usually prey on the weak like that but the (angry) guy wouldn't shut up or leave our table (he wasn't invited to join us). He was taking up precious space and he wasn't buying any drinks, so I really wanted him to make room for someone who would. After the testosterone-plagued (or testosterone-less) frenzy, his friend was noticeably embarrassed because he was trying to holla at my sis. After his buddy's display, he left shortly thereafter but not before settling our bar tab and giving us another 30 bucks for more drinks that night. All in all, that night was exciting, though a little "dangerous". Then Saturday, another amusing thing happened. I don't know if you've ever heard of a show called Cheaters but it's mostly filmed here (locally) in the Dallas area and the point of the show is rather self-explanatory (in the title). If you don't know already, the show is basically about catching and confronting cheaters in the act (so to speak). I think it's a pretty big show nationwide because when my sis and I went to DC to chill, the car rental lady said she had to make home in time to watch Cheaters that night. Of course, we couldn't wait to tell her the show was a Dallas-based show (which is where we'd just flown in from). But I digress...Saturday, sis and I are watching Cheaters and discussing how a lot of the stories are fake (about 30% we hear), including the one we were watching. As I'm watching the show, I'm looking at this guy try to explain to his girlfriend (of about 3 years) why he's cheating on her. I'm thinking this guy is kinda attractive, though not at all one of my types (and I have MANY types). It's a little amusing but a little contrived so before the story's even over, I jump in the shower. I'm not in the shower 2 minutes when my sister screams, "Chauny! It's Bill!!!" About 5 (or more) years ago, "Bill" and I had...um...how can I put this...um..intimate knowledge of one another. He wasn't my type then, but I credit him for introducing me to the "seedier" side of life (I won't go into details-but I did not participate, I only witnessed). He was intriguing in a weird sort of way. He was an enigma, a tangled ball of contradictions. He was clever but in a gutter kind of way, he was intelligent but he lived a very stupid and dangerous lifestyle. He was very articulate but he didn't want people to know that (except me, of course). Anyway, when I jumped out of the shower butt naked and soaking wet, I could then see that it was indeed him! He'd put on about 80 pounds but I still thought he had a scrub-like cuteness about him. At first, I fell on the floor laughing but then, I started to feel a little oogy. I mean, I'd had carnal knowledge of this man and I didn't even recognize him in a close-up, standing 10 inches from my 27 inch TV screen?! What kind of woman am I?! You'd think I was some kind of hussy that couldn't remember all (or half) of her "partners" but that isn't even close to the truth! I go YEARS without so much as heavy petting! Honestly! I didn't even "know" a man (in the physical sense) until I was the ripe old age of 23. Hey, don't laugh, that's pretty good for this day and age. I assure you, "my numbers" have been tiny in relation to the average, non-promiscuous woman. Maybe the problem is that there is too much time in between (trysts) or maybe they're just not memorable enough to stay in my brain. I don't really remember how our "relationship" ended but I'm sure, after our little tryst those many moons ago, he wanted to kick my azz too. Big deal, he can stand in line.
Posted : 2007-03-14 01:59:00 PM Created : 2007-03-14 02:01:00 PM Visible to : Public
Blog ID : 241076218
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