Category : Romance and Relationships
Blog 43
Moved By Mr. Wrong
You know, I'd been doing some serious thinking. Recently, after a (comparatively low) emotional "rough patch", I've come to appreciate something in my life that I used to feel quite bad about. While I've been blessed with exceptional, talented family and friends, I'd considered my romantic life to be less than stellar. But in retrospect, however, that's not at all true. If you don't think you'd gotten a true sense of me from reading my past writings, let me try to explain my complex character/personality now. Frankly, I have issues. I know I'm not the easiest person to "handle" but I can be the easiest person to understand (if you really try). I'm equal parts logical and illogical, equal parts independent and dependent, equal parts vibrantly expressive and completely stoic. 😐 So, a life with me might not be the easiest to predict but it certainly won't leave you bored. If that isn't complex enough, I also have problems following through with relationship commitments when a person has neglected to "move me". And while I undoubtedly require a little patience and nudging to open up emotionally, I don't always offer that to other people (men). But I was thinking this morning that romantically, there have probably been three men that have inexplicably moved me. When I say they moved me "inexplicably", I mean that I was almost instantly drawn to them after speaking to them for about 5 minutes (without knowing all his life details). In all cases, it wasn't the looks that drew me in, it was the intelligence, the wit, the aura that made me want to know more about them. These are not men that I was drawn to because they were beautiful or sweet or protective (which has happened). These are men that I was drawn to despite their circumstances. These men are absolutely and undeniably Mr. Wrong on paper. They were either way too young, too far away (geographically), had too many kids or just didn't have all their ducks in a row (in line with where they should be age-wise). But still, I wanted to know them. These men have dry wit, sharp instincts and drive. Understand, I'm not at all easily taken aback by someone. The good thing is, all three of these "diamonds in the rough" are still in my life, to varying degrees. All three connections aren't necessarily romantic in nature but they still hold a significant place in my heart because of their profound effect on me. That's a wonderful thing, isn't it? Those people you count upon as exceptional (maybe not in the most obvious way) are there to participate in your life in some way. Accepting, even embracing, the idea that your soul-mate or life partner could be someone in a very unexpected package, opens you up for a whole other pool of possibilities. Isn't that a blessing in disguise? These are the men that truly make me question those tried and true methods for choosing Mr. Right. They make me question what it is I truly want, in a long-lasting relationship. The only thing I'm sure I won't ever compromise on is children. When I'm ready, I want to pop out as many kids as my tattered body will allow. I won't limit the number of children I want (or have) because I was careful all these years and he wasn't. Another significant revelation is related to marriage. My sis and I have discussed this in great detail and we think that people should rewrite their vows (we will) to reflect a more realistic view of what your life might be with a life partner. We think that you should promise to love, honor and cherish (notice I left out 'obey'), as long as you still love that person. Not the passionate, intense and blinding love (because that can be fleeting), we mean that love that's steady and calm and full of genuine respect and caring for one another. When you no longer feel that way about each other, don't cheat or lie...just call it a day. Leave on good terms, so you can always enjoy the person that moved to marry them. The funny thing is, once you make up your mind that you will "hold on" as long as you feel you want to, you'll probably end up "holding on" to each other forever because the 'til death do us part pressure is off. If it doesn't work out, you're not a failure, you stayed married to them exactly as long as you intended to. Anyway, I think I've unwittingly moved myself into another blog subject, so I'll stop here for now. I just needed to get these thoughts out before I forgot to write them down. You know how I am.
Posted : 2007-05-24 10:25:00 PM Created : 2007-05-25 08:39:00 AM Visible to : Public
Blog ID : 268560510
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