Venomous Video Vixen‏

The following is result of Operation Blog Recovery (Of what I could retrieve): The following content is collected from a platform that is no longer operational. Gaps and spaces in the formatted text could be the result of broken and/or expired emoticons, links or web-hosted pictures. You can be assured that the opinions and thoughts expressed are from the original writing. Hell, I’m not even going to correct spelling or grammar. Enjoy! Or not.

Originally posted 4/14/2009  

Current mood:  restless
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

My expert advice for today is this: Never text or e-mail friends (or exes) under the influence. (But you probably already knew that). The influence I refer to is not alcohol, drugs or any of the other vices I may have abused in the past.  The influence I refer to is restlessness.  For me, restlessness is almost as destructive as depression. In my most recent violations of “DUI” (Devious Under the Influence), my only saving grace may be that a lot of the men I know are financially down on their luck at the moment. (Who isn’t?) So the chances that these dudes are able to pay rent, let alone cellular or internet service bills, is pretty slim. So, my self-inflicted blunders may not have had as much impact as I’d initially feared.  For that reason alone, my pride is firmly intact and willfully restored. In fact, this morning I heard from the least tragic of the unfortunate recipients of the restless ChaunyBaby DUI sludge from last night. He was sweet, understanding and forgiving, so it’s all good.  On another positive note, my recent video-making fixation is providing me with hours of mindless entertainment and enjoyment.  It’s worth noting in my precious blog because it’s my new “creative” obsession. Actually, last night’s technologically-charged emotional missteps came when I ran out of stupid little video clips to string together for another pointless “ChaunyShort” Production. I still have some unused clips but not anything that inspires me. On a narcissistic note, I’m considerably less enthusiastic about using my precious movie-making time and “talent” to make videos in which I’m not (personally) in.  I’ll work on that though. I’m sure there are tons of interesting, camera-worthy things going on around me, that don’t actually involve me personally but I’ve yet to find any...at least not when I have my camera ready. That may seem self-absorbed to you and if you feel that way, you’d be right. However, I’m looking for creatively healing therapy for myself, not the masses.  I’m taking a page out of the Spike Lee movie-making manual by actually making the ‘movies’ I want to be in. I don’t have to be the star but I’d have to at least have a cameo appearance. And NO, my ChaunyShort 'movies' don't have to be cinematic works of art, just entertaining...to me. One of my very favorite movies is The Seed of Chucky. Critically, that movie sucked azz but I personally find it thoroughly entertaining. To me, that's what really counts.  Movie-making is a therapeutic exercise that I’m rapidly gaining confidence in and drawing great strength from. An emotionally healthy ChaunyBaby is better for everyone, just trust me on that. But the short, Cliff Notes version of the story is that I fear I may be a mean, venomous and sadistic vixen underneath my calm exterior.  She’s only come out a few times but when she has, she leaves utter devastation in her wake. Her appearances have been limited because I’m a resourceful chick and I can find a pleasant diversion before she gets too out of hand. You don’t want to meet her unless you own an all female UFC-like Fight Club.  Come to think of it, it doesn’t even have to be all female.  Let’s just leave it at that. As I’ve previously theorized, it seems that having creative outlets saves me from myself and dumb decisions, be it writing or video-making. Razor-sharp wit and a cartoonish yet endearingly large gummy smile don’t get you diddly squat nowadays!  My ‘bag of tricks’ has to include more than that to draw the kind I’ve attention I secretly crave.  A good friend confessed to me last Karaoke Wednesday, that he’s recently read some of my blogs (after we’d hung out together many times in the past) and he thought himself, 'Do I even know this person?' He may not, not fully anyway. His confusion is understandable. I have at least two fully functioning but completely opposite personalities. I’m confident I can find a healthy balance that won’t send me to the nut house (too soon).  Since I haven’t felt like writing much lately, I’d better get my camera out and start filming something or else….well…dang, who knows?  Without a healthy outlet, hell, I’m capable of doing just about anything. That’s a frightening thought people!  Truly, it is. But my chronic optimism helps me see the bright side of almost every potentially bad situation. See? That benevolent balance keeps me in check.  So in this case, if I do end up doing something incredibly stupid, I’ll hopefully have my camera handy. Stupid human tricks are more entertaining than stupid pet tricks every day of the week and twice on Sunday. Don't deny it, you know it's true.