This'll be an uncommonly short and serious entry for me. See, I had a monstrously melodramatic morning today. Not long after dropping my keys on my desk from the ride in, I was in tears. 😭 Frustration, impatience and sadness were the emotions of the morning. Why does it have to be this way and when will it change for the better? 🤔 I'm pretty patient as patient people go but I'm not feeling that way right now. I feel like I need answers to all that ails me and I need them NOW! I prayed for a busy morning to take my mind off things and I got one, in spades. ♠♠♠ E-mails, phone calls, texts and face-to-face meetings lifted my mood, or at least made me feel like I didn't want to cry anymore. 🥺 If you're at all familiar with my writings, then you already know I tend to find metaphorical meanings in most things. By lunch time, I was more curious about what spurred my sadness than actually being sad anymore. I wondered so hard that I tripped and almost fell going downstairs to get lunch. On my way back upstairs from the delicious anti-pesto bar, I remembered that last Thursday I bit it BIG time on those very same stairs while leaving from work. And I mean I bit it HARD! I fell all the way down and jammed my finger badly by using my hand to brace my fall...and face. My finger is still sore too. ☝🏾 It was a pretty embarrassing display but I was more shocked than shame. Why would a reasonably coordinated adult woman trip on stairs she uses at least five times a week? Then I remembered that I fell last week because I was in a quick rhythm of taking each stair one by one and for some unknown reason, right before I reached the landing, I suddenly decided to take two stairs instead of one and that's all she wrote. BAM! I fell like a lumpy sack of potatoes. After I thought about it for a minute, I concluded that the same "two stair stumble" was the culprit today too. I guess I was rushing to get my aged salami & balsamic vinegar-grilled zucchini today. Two separate incidents of a stumble and a tumble in less than a week on stairs I've used for YEARS and have never fallen or tripped on before. Strange. If I'd just stayed in my usual rhythm of taking each step one at a time, I wouldn't have tripped today or fallen a few days ago. Then it hits me! Eureka! 😲 There isn't a gloomy cloud of doom hovering over my head and following me wherever I go. I'm not hopelessly unlucky in life, love♥ and legs. The problem is that I'm trying to get ahead of myself and I'm paying the price for being too hasty. This is simply "The Process". These things, however frustrating, are necessary for me to get where I need to be. As much as I hate it, it's not meant for me to have all of the answers right now. I have to take each issue one at a time. Melancholy Morning: The Process. Languishing in Loss: The Process. Feelings of Frustration: The Process. Even Busting my Big Butt on Cold Concrete: A huge part of The Process (No pun intended) Disappointment, doubt and uncertainty can often lead to something promising and infinitely sweet if you BELIEVE it will. By nature, I'm a full-time optimist and a part-time pessimist. And when I really get down to it, over the years, my personal pain has made me stronger, more tolerant, more creative and more mature. Those aren't bad products of pain when you think about it. I would've added "Pain: The Process." but I felt enough pain when I busted my azz, so the "...Butt Bust Process" one was a "twofer". The bottom line is this; I shouldn't waste my energy worrying about things I can't control. I need to feel, do and learn in real-time, not fast-forward. I should make sure every experience teaches me something, especially the bad experiences. I think it's okay to be sad sometimes if you don't let it consume you, right? Now for my corny close. Make an effort to believe that good things happen to good people in bad times. I am a true believer. I also believe that somebody at my job probably has phone video of me busting my big azz last week and has already uploaded it on YouTube. And yes, that last part is a part of "The Process" too.
