Category : Pets and Animals
Blog 17
Jordan Scarred Me For Life.
Well, this entry is about an experience yesterday that may have scarred me for life. As I get older, I'm less prone to Drama Queen antics 👑 but yesterday's experience is definitely Drama Queen-worthy. 👸🏾 First, let me say that I have a puppy (well, my sister has a puppy). Jordan (her puppy) is about 5 months old now but we got her when she was maybe a month old. I'm not gonna lie, I didn't really want a puppy. I'd had dogs before and if you're an animal lover, you know how much work it is to properly care for a dog. We got her because I opened my big fat mouth when my sister and I were passing a Wal-Mart parking lot in which a couple were giving away puppies. I could've kept my mouth shut because she didn't even see the Free Puppies sign, we passed right by the parking lot and she didn't even see the sign! Then, right after passing the lot, I said under my breath, "Hmmm, free puppies." As soon as I said it, I 'slapped' my hand over my mouth, instantly realizing what I'd just done. 🤦🏽♀️ My sister screamed, Free Puppies! Where?!" I somberly admitted (under my breath again); "Back there." She then makes a crazy, practically illegal U-turn in the middle of the road to go back to the parking lot. We've always owned boy dogs but there was a lone girl puppy that hadn't yet been picked up by the swarms of passer-bys. I admit, she was extraordinarily cute (there's a picture of her on my sister's page; JulyLioness). When my sister held her snugly under her chin and walked over to our car, I knew it was love at first sight. 🥰 At that point, it didn't matter how much I would've protested, the wheels had already been set in motion for a (possibly) lifetime commitment with this creature. I told my sister that I would NOT, under any circumstances, be responsible for her. Of course, I would feed her and take her out when I had to but I made it clear that the dog was hers , not mine. I'll wholeheartedly admit, my sister actually takes very good care of Jordan. Every once and awhile she'll try to get me to say that I love Jordan. I guess I do love her but more as a dependent, not as my beloved pet. And fortunately, for all these past 4/5 months, I'd escaped doing any real 'clean-up'. Sure, I cleaned up her urine-oopsies a few times but that was small stuff. I'd never had to clean up 'Number 2' and that was just great with me. 👍🏾 Then, yesterday, all my dreams were dashed. My sister was in school, so I left work at my regular off time (instead of staying late) so I could feed Jordan and take her out of her cage to play in the backyard, since she'd been in her cage all day. As I opened my front door, I was hit in the face with a stench that was so repulsive that after taking one step inside, had to take two steps back outside to get ‘hit' of fresh air. Now keep in mind, Jordan's cage is on the other side of the house. For me to have smelled her 'oopsy' as soon as I opened the door, I knew it was bad. She heard me come in, so she was crying for me to come get her out of her 'prison of stinkiness'. 💨 I took a deep breath and ran to the laundry room (where her cage is). I can say that nothing in life prepared me for what I saw. The bottom tray of her cage was full (to the top) with a mixture of urine, vomit and (you guessed it) feces! 💩 My Lord, what in the world made this dog that sick? Anyway, when I looked around the room, I could see that she'd probably had diarrhea and had been vomiting since that morning because she'd manage to splatter it on the walls, floor (tiles and carpet) and even the washer & dryer (which aren't that close to her cage, incidentally). There were splatter marks that were completely dried up and would need to be scrapped off. I opened the cage door, she ran out her cage like a bullet and headed straight for the back door. She was completely soaked with the repulsive mixture. As a result, when she ran to the back door, she slid on the linoleum floor about 4 feet, straight into the garbage cans and knocked them down like a bowling ball to pins. I couldn't get the door open fast enough, so she did that 'dog shake', that thing they do when they're wet. 💦 You know what that means right? All I could feel was wet nastiness splattering me in the face, eyes, hair and even my mouth! 🤮 I almost broke the door trying to get it open before she could do the 'dog shake' again but it really didn't matter, the damage was done. I screamed and ran to my room and got buck-booty naked and left my work clothes right in the middle of my bedroom floor. I wanted to take a shower but that would've been premature and completely futile. Realistically, I still had to tackle the massive clean-up effort that would eliminate the stench that was responsible for filling all the air in my house with a smell you'd never smelled before (trust me)! So, without going into great detail, let me say that it took me about 4 straight hours to clean up everything. 🤢 I scrubbed, scrapped, mopped and sprayed until my hands hurt. I'm no light-weight but I threw up twice while I was cleaning. To make matters worse, I was so hell-bent on getting everything hospital clean, that I didn't realize that (in the non-ventilated area) I was mixing the ammonia with the other cleaners and the fumes made me so light-headed at one point, that I had to crawl to my room for a breather...I couldn't even walk...I had to CRAWL! And even when I finally made it to my room, I couldn't do anything but lay on the floor because I was covered in Jordan's stomach contents! Let me just say that even war couldn't have prepared me for this. There was so much sticky goop (Jordan's intestinal contents, cleaner and paper towels) stuck to the bottom of my bare feet that when I finally made it to the shower🚿, I had to wet the bottom of my feet and use my nails to scrap all of it off, before I could scrub them with soap! 🧼 So, as not to clog my shower drain, I had to leave a big pile of the sticky mess in the corner of the shower while I attempted to scrub every milometer of my body and hair. After the massive clean-up effort (both body and house). 🧽 I got in my bed, curled up in the fetal position and tried to forget all the events that happened from the moment I opened the door that day until that very moment. 😔 I'm sure I'm scarred for life and I wouldn't be surprised if some high-priced psychiatrist diagnosed me with some form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. 😵 As I reflect on the months that we've had Jordan, I've never had to be involved with/clean anything too gross but this made up for all of that! If I never pick up another turd or puddle of vomit from now until the end of time, and my sister has to do it all...she'd still be getting the good end of the deal!. I'm sure one day I'll get over it but I don't see that happening anytime soon. I'm pleased to say that Jordan seemed healthy and was her same annoying self this morning. When I hosed down her cage last night, I saw that there were bits of purple sponge and other non-food items I didn't recognize in her 'waste', which most-likely accounted for her temporary sickness. 😯 Sorry if all this grosses you out, I just felt like sharing. Besides, it's the first step in moving on with my life.
Posted : 2006-09-07 07:51:00 AM Created : 2006-09-07 07:58:00 AM Visible to : Public
Blog ID : 165078104
