For me, well written blogs are meant to provoke deep thought and emotion. In my opinion, intelligent blog entries are meant to impart wisdom. Yeah, well, this won't be that entry. Alas, just when I found myself in the precarious position of wanting to blog, with nothing in particular to blog about, inspiration suddenly arrives...and not the welcome sort. Wait, let me back up. Anyone that knows me, knows I only write when I'm inspired; glad, sad or mad. Don't laugh but for quite a few months now, the only thing I've been truly inspired (and obsessed) by, is The Learning Channel's show "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo". The show is relatively new but I discovered little 6 year old Alana Thompson aka Honey Boo Boo, several months before she landed her own show. On that other show, she was so funny to me that I'd actually taped her interview excerpts, just to show Sis (and keep myself in stitches when I needed a good laugh). Honey Boo Boo is a complete hoot! Heck, President Obama even mentioned her in one of his speeches. That family and the show gets a lot of flak for being trashy° but for those of us that actually watch the show, you can clearly see that there's a lot genuine love and acceptance for one another. In an age where reality murder shows are in abundance, it's nice to see a regular family having fun and loving one another. It also helps that the producers of the show provide subtitles, given the family's deeply southern version of "English".
I hate to type this, but Honey Boo Boo and her family are...um, uh...okay, well...they're rednecks. Hey, they call THEMSELVES that. After all, it seems to have become rather "fashionable" to be a redneck. To be frank, between the show's scenes depicting never-ending instances of flatulence, consuming road kill and eating a stomach-churning recipe of butter (actually, Country Crock™) & ketchup 'sketti (we call it spaghetti), there is more than enough tastelessness to go around. In fact, I can eat watching bloody murder shows and brain-eating zombies but I can't eat watching this show sometimes. Still, the hilariously lovable antics of the Boo Boo Clan more than make up for it.
I feel like I'm slowly coming out of my dark depression, so I've kinda been in the mood to write but didn't know how to get started. How do you compose a good blog entry when your primary source of inspiration is a silly TV show called Here Comes Honey Boo Boo? Yeah, I dunno either. Som while sitting on the toilet at work, I decided; eff it, I'll write anyway and see what happens.
Then, out-of-the-blue, despite the dozen other EMPTY stalls, this chick decides to populate the stall next to mine and go to town. It was obvious that she either had a bad case of diarrhea or she ate something for lunch that didn't agree with her. My instant gut reaction was sit there and mumble (loudly) to myself "Oh HELL naw! Ain't this some shit!?" (...literally). I got outta there so fast that I didn't even have time to adjust my lop-sided bra, which I'd planned on doing during my relaxing bathroom break. Why me? I'm just sitting there, minding my own business and this chick decides to turd-rush ME despite a sea of perfectly empty stalls? It was sickening, disheartening and plain hurt my feelings. She obviously had some sort of doo doo vendetta against me. Then it hit me! Could this loose-bowelled chick be my long awaited inspiration? Could the stench of her rotten innards be the key to ending my writer's block? Naw, it was just a stroke of bad luck. Wow, this is one craptastic post. Oh well, I guess a shitty end seems particularly poetic for this entry.
trashy° See Honey Boo Boo made out of trash!
(There's a joke in there somewhere but I love her too much to make it.)
(There's a joke in there somewhere but I love her too much to make it.)
