Originally Posted : September 2, 2009
Category : Life
Boudin, Blisters & Battery Acid
I didn't get mad when almost every freakin traffic light in the western hemisphere stopped me on my way to work this morning. I didn't cry when I used a staple remover to open my adult-proof vacuum-sealed package of delicious boudin links and one of the hooks ended up piercing a half-inch hole in my index finger that bled so hard that the blood went through the holes of my Band-Aid. (For the Northerners-Boudin [pronounced boo ° dan] links are rice, meat & spices stuffed in a sausage casing). I didn't even cuss when I left my boudin link in the microwave so long that it gave me a piping hot boudin facial equivalent to that of a facial chemical peel using battery acid. (For the Southerners-A chemical peel [pronounced k'makill ° peeel] is a technique used to improve the texture of facial skin by using a chemical solution that causes the dead skin to peel off.) Despite the day's minor hiccups, I was Zen, I channeled my calming chi, I found my happy place. So every traffic light wants to stop me today on my way to work....at least I have a car and job to go to. So I almost lost a finger in a careless break room accident...I have lots of Band-Aids & first aid products in my office...better yet, maybe that accident will qualify me for Workman's Comp. So I got a painfully blistering boudin facial...you know how much facials go for these days?! I'm trying to see the positive side of everything right now. I'm trying to capitalize on my newfound opulent optimism. It'd been gone for a while now and it probably won't stay long, so I'd better squeeze as much juice out of it as I can. I see my present positive state as preparing me for one of two things; either things are about start looking up for me or my power reserves are being stockpiled for another unfortunate disaster. I'm leaning toward the first option since leaning toward the second option would shoot a big ole gaping hole in my newfound opulent optimism. Can't you see I'm just oozing with positivity? Can't you?! What's wrong with you?!? Are you blind?!?! Can't you read and understand ENGLISH?!?!? Why do I have to keep REPEATING myself?!?!?! DON'T YOU WANT ME TO BE HAPPY?!?!?! 😡 Okay, my day's minor hiccups really happened but if you haven't figured it out, I was just kidding about that last part. (Sorry about that whole Southerners' thing too.🤠) Actually, I was just recalling an article I read today about a chick that got fired from her job for sending "confrontational" emails to her co-workers, specifically because they contained words in red, in bold and in all CAPITAL LETTERS. I thought it was kinda funny, so I wanted to incorporate it here somehow. For a while now, my sense of humor seems like it's been on vacation along with my "opulent optimism." Honestly, I think I have a few more hard weeks ahead of me but I also have a shit load of hard weeks behind me. Baby steps right? And that's not just my being optimistic either, it's true. Anyway, no matter what challenging situation arises, one should never lose their sense of humor if they're blessed enough to have one. Thankfully, my sense of humor is on steroids. Like, illegal. It's like I got busted and I'm out of "the good stuff" right now but don't worry, I know where I can score. I've got connections. 😉
Posted : 2009-09-02 01:36:00 PM Created : 2009-09-02 01:59:00 PM Visible to : Public
Originally Posted : September 2, 2009
I didn't get mad when almost every freakin traffic light in the western hemisphere stopped me on my way to work this morning. I didn't cry when I used a staple remover to open my adult-proof vacuum-s...
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