Originally posted on July 28, 2010 - Wednesday
Current mood: pissed off
Category: Life
[WARNING:
This'll be pretty long and a bit lame because I'm pissed off right now and I'm
not feeling very "literarily" creative. The positive side of being pissed off is
that I also don't give a f*ck.]
My melancholy morning mood yesterday, may have been a seemingly successful attempt from evil energies conspiring to ruin my day....or it could've just been the gloomy weather. You ever have one of those out of the blue moments when you're suddenly struck by something that makes you mad or sad? I'm living my most recent moment right now. I guess I'm just really exhausted with the general population’s "Me First" attitude. Do people do things for other people from the kindness of their heart with no expectation of reciprocation? I'm really not sure anymore.
My morning today was less melancholy than yesterday but not completely exempt of it. I was telling Sis this morning of my Academy Award-worthy portrayal of an extremely patient mostly law-abiding citizen when I went to court Monday to have a speeding ticket dismissed. I completed my state-mandated Defensive Driving course, had all my paperwork together and was ready to get this done and over with. I made it to the courthouse around 8:30AM to find, after going through the metal detectors and the x-ray screening of my belongings, there were about 40 people in line in front of me with only four court clerks working antagonistically slow, the way civil servants usually do.
By the time I got to be about 20th in line, there were easily about 60 people behind me. Still, the court clerks worked at their own infuriatingly slow pace. I stood in line for well over an hour. Did you get that? I STOOD in line, not leaned against a wall or sat for a spell, I stood there until it was my turn. I had to keep taking deep breaths while counting to 10 as I repeatedly reminded myself that I'm the one that got myself into that position. I understood that because of my speedy lawlessness, I deserved to suffer the consequences no matter how horrific. By the time I was number 2 in line, there were easily about 100 people behind me. Then, I finally sit down in front of a glass-protected county clerk, and the county clerk right next to mine, pulled her shade down like she was going on break. The loud groans behind me told the story of law-breakers that were about at the end of their rope. A violent riot couldn't have been far off. I was just happy that I had all my paperwork ready for that last official stamp, then I'd be on my way.
It almost seemed to me that the clerks were "unofficially" trained to be as slow as they possibly could as an extra punishment for our law-breaking ways. Oh well, I'd done it to myself. What struck me most of all that day, wasn't the blatant abandonment of customer service skills by the court clerks, it was the blatant lack of grown folks handling their own damn business. To me, it seemed to be more than just simple procrastination. To me, it was a manifestation of appalling self-centeredness. There were steady streams of people coming in, self-centered enough to give some lame excuse of why they couldn't fulfill their legal obligations and that was supposed to satisfy the court.
There were tons of people that looked a lot older than me (though my appearance is deceitfully youthful), coming in late for court, not paying fees they'd had months to gather, waiting the day after the last day of their 2nd extension to request another extension and just a general lack of responsibility-taking. It was really sad that GROWN people didn't want to take responsibility for their own bad decisions and believed such lame excuses were appropriate reasons for doing nothing to settle their own debt$. And worse, many of them had the audacity to get testy when told their excuse didn't hold water with the municipal court. I'm thinking to myself, What the hell are they getting mad about? It's their fucking fault in the first place. The nerve!
Then it occurred to me that the raggedy way of living shamelessly displayed by the lame-excused law-breakers, happens in almost all other facets of life too; °You can barely afford to feed yourself, so you don't think you should have to pay child support. °You're going through "some things", so you disappear off the face of the earth, so much so that your own family doesn’t know whether you're dead or alive.
°You need me to loan you money for car repairs but those expensive boots were just too cute to pass up. °You're in a really bad mood, so you don’t have to be appreciative, courteous or considerate of anyone else because you just don't feel like it.
°You know you owe me money, but there's this really great Vegas trip you're going on and you deserve it, because you work hard.
WTF?!
Lame excuse after lame excuse provided with absolutely no shame at all, and the other party is expected to just accept it. It's self-serving, self-centered selfishness at it's worst! No way Jose, I'm not having it. Frank suggestion to the vehement violators; You can shove that lame excuse farther up your azz than an extra long horse enema. I'm tired of being understanding until you decide to come around and see the error of your ways (which isn't likely to ever happen). Ironically, I *do* have an expectation of reciprocation because I'm sick of making someone else's needs paramount and them never showing that reciprocal courtesy to me. It's sad, but there are self-centered people littered all around us and personally, I'm not gonna take it anymore. I will make it my moral mission and life's work to expel the chronically selfish from my life the way I would a diseased turd from my azz.
To the chronically self-centered; You are no longer allowed to attend my party. Grab your keys and tear your azz. Despite what you might think, you won't be missed because you're far more work than you're actually worth. You take way more than you give. Your negative traits far outweigh your positive ones. Moreover, if you are ever mentioned to me by an outside party not aware of your exiled status, you will be dismissed like a shit-eating fly away from picnic food. I don't have the time, inclination, patience or energy to waste one more nerve on you. As far as I'm concerned, you're cooked, you're done, you're finished. Find some other poor, unsuspecting sucker to exploit. That’s it. Finito. Caput.
But I'm not the uncaring azzhole my harsh words here might seem to suggest. Once the habitually self-centered offender starts thinking about someone other than him/herself and begins attempting to make amends for their past misdeeds, I'm willing to hear them out. But that step 'forward' won't guarantee them the coveted spot they once had, it just means that MAYBE they won't be deemed as useless as an azzhole on an elbow. (Genius line stolen from Kill Bill Vol. 2 ). And if that day never comes, then all the better. Their drama-laden negativity won't be missed by me. I need all my extra energy to keep from going postal on the post office clerks or from going cavewoman on the county court clerks. Showing civility to civil servants is a small thing but it's better than doing nothing at all. Hey, you have your way of "giving back" and I have mine.
My melancholy morning mood yesterday, may have been a seemingly successful attempt from evil energies conspiring to ruin my day....or it could've just been the gloomy weather. You ever have one of those out of the blue moments when you're suddenly struck by something that makes you mad or sad? I'm living my most recent moment right now. I guess I'm just really exhausted with the general population’s "Me First" attitude. Do people do things for other people from the kindness of their heart with no expectation of reciprocation? I'm really not sure anymore.
My morning today was less melancholy than yesterday but not completely exempt of it. I was telling Sis this morning of my Academy Award-worthy portrayal of an extremely patient mostly law-abiding citizen when I went to court Monday to have a speeding ticket dismissed. I completed my state-mandated Defensive Driving course, had all my paperwork together and was ready to get this done and over with. I made it to the courthouse around 8:30AM to find, after going through the metal detectors and the x-ray screening of my belongings, there were about 40 people in line in front of me with only four court clerks working antagonistically slow, the way civil servants usually do.
By the time I got to be about 20th in line, there were easily about 60 people behind me. Still, the court clerks worked at their own infuriatingly slow pace. I stood in line for well over an hour. Did you get that? I STOOD in line, not leaned against a wall or sat for a spell, I stood there until it was my turn. I had to keep taking deep breaths while counting to 10 as I repeatedly reminded myself that I'm the one that got myself into that position. I understood that because of my speedy lawlessness, I deserved to suffer the consequences no matter how horrific. By the time I was number 2 in line, there were easily about 100 people behind me. Then, I finally sit down in front of a glass-protected county clerk, and the county clerk right next to mine, pulled her shade down like she was going on break. The loud groans behind me told the story of law-breakers that were about at the end of their rope. A violent riot couldn't have been far off. I was just happy that I had all my paperwork ready for that last official stamp, then I'd be on my way.
It almost seemed to me that the clerks were "unofficially" trained to be as slow as they possibly could as an extra punishment for our law-breaking ways. Oh well, I'd done it to myself. What struck me most of all that day, wasn't the blatant abandonment of customer service skills by the court clerks, it was the blatant lack of grown folks handling their own damn business. To me, it seemed to be more than just simple procrastination. To me, it was a manifestation of appalling self-centeredness. There were steady streams of people coming in, self-centered enough to give some lame excuse of why they couldn't fulfill their legal obligations and that was supposed to satisfy the court.
There were tons of people that looked a lot older than me (though my appearance is deceitfully youthful), coming in late for court, not paying fees they'd had months to gather, waiting the day after the last day of their 2nd extension to request another extension and just a general lack of responsibility-taking. It was really sad that GROWN people didn't want to take responsibility for their own bad decisions and believed such lame excuses were appropriate reasons for doing nothing to settle their own debt$. And worse, many of them had the audacity to get testy when told their excuse didn't hold water with the municipal court. I'm thinking to myself, What the hell are they getting mad about? It's their fucking fault in the first place. The nerve!
Then it occurred to me that the raggedy way of living shamelessly displayed by the lame-excused law-breakers, happens in almost all other facets of life too; °You can barely afford to feed yourself, so you don't think you should have to pay child support. °You're going through "some things", so you disappear off the face of the earth, so much so that your own family doesn’t know whether you're dead or alive.
°You need me to loan you money for car repairs but those expensive boots were just too cute to pass up. °You're in a really bad mood, so you don’t have to be appreciative, courteous or considerate of anyone else because you just don't feel like it.
°You know you owe me money, but there's this really great Vegas trip you're going on and you deserve it, because you work hard.
WTF?!
Lame excuse after lame excuse provided with absolutely no shame at all, and the other party is expected to just accept it. It's self-serving, self-centered selfishness at it's worst! No way Jose, I'm not having it. Frank suggestion to the vehement violators; You can shove that lame excuse farther up your azz than an extra long horse enema. I'm tired of being understanding until you decide to come around and see the error of your ways (which isn't likely to ever happen). Ironically, I *do* have an expectation of reciprocation because I'm sick of making someone else's needs paramount and them never showing that reciprocal courtesy to me. It's sad, but there are self-centered people littered all around us and personally, I'm not gonna take it anymore. I will make it my moral mission and life's work to expel the chronically selfish from my life the way I would a diseased turd from my azz.
To the chronically self-centered; You are no longer allowed to attend my party. Grab your keys and tear your azz. Despite what you might think, you won't be missed because you're far more work than you're actually worth. You take way more than you give. Your negative traits far outweigh your positive ones. Moreover, if you are ever mentioned to me by an outside party not aware of your exiled status, you will be dismissed like a shit-eating fly away from picnic food. I don't have the time, inclination, patience or energy to waste one more nerve on you. As far as I'm concerned, you're cooked, you're done, you're finished. Find some other poor, unsuspecting sucker to exploit. That’s it. Finito. Caput.
But I'm not the uncaring azzhole my harsh words here might seem to suggest. Once the habitually self-centered offender starts thinking about someone other than him/herself and begins attempting to make amends for their past misdeeds, I'm willing to hear them out. But that step 'forward' won't guarantee them the coveted spot they once had, it just means that MAYBE they won't be deemed as useless as an azzhole on an elbow. (Genius line stolen from Kill Bill Vol. 2 ). And if that day never comes, then all the better. Their drama-laden negativity won't be missed by me. I need all my extra energy to keep from going postal on the post office clerks or from going cavewoman on the county court clerks. Showing civility to civil servants is a small thing but it's better than doing nothing at all. Hey, you have your way of "giving back" and I have mine.
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