Category : Romance and Relationships
Blog 44
It Stung, But He Wasn't Wrong
First, my apologies, this will be a serious entry. So, if you don't feel like being serious, don't read this one..wait for the next one. You know, there are so many experiences in life that aren't comfortable, awful really, but they are absolutely character-building. You think about all the things in your life that stunk when they happened, but then you go back and realize that they happened to you, to teach you something-even something you didn't necessarily want to be taught. I've had a few of those experiences myself, some I've shared with you, some I haven't. Most recently, for me, it started with my job. I like what I do, sometimes I even love♥ it but for the last few months, things had started to spin out of control. I can admit now that work-wise, I fell WAY behind and I finally had to relent. For me, that isn't an easy thing to do. At work, three of us are doing what four used to do, while our supervisor steadily "volunteers" us for more work (they never filled the position of our fourth after she was moved to another dept). The ladies I work with are very hard working too. They'd come in on the weekends, just to not fall too far behind. Truthfully, I had no intentions of ever doing that and that's what I told the manager (of our dept straight-up. I felt that if I couldn't manage it within a 40 hour work week, then it would have to get done when it got done. Giving up my weekends would diminish my quality of life too much. I enjoy my home, family and friends too much to sacrifice any precious time with them. My work stays within the cozy confines of my cubicle. Then last week, my supervisor came to my desk and asked how I could "make up some serious ground". I offered a few suggestions that I thought, at the time, fell on deaf ears. Finally, frustrated to the point of tears, I told her point-blank, "I give up, it's just too much and I can't manage it" I went on to tell her that I never do anything half-way and I work very hard to make sure the quality of my work is pristine (she agreed). I also told her that I didn't feel valued and that I simply couldn't keep up the pace that was expected of me and still do the quality work I know I'm capable of. I told her frankly, that I was VERY frustrated, bordering on ANGER. She replies, "Well, don't get angry-we'll figure something out ". I go through the long Memorial Day weekend, enjoying myself but accepting the fact that I'd have a total mess to contend with, when I got back to work on Tuesday. However, Tuesday, I go back to work and I see a few new faces on my floor. Not new really, they were actually some of my old colleagues from another department. They were training with us so they could give us some relief. So, my tearful admission of perceived failure didn't fall on deaf ears after all! Today, for the first time in months, I was able to get caught up on some very complicated issues that had been stacking up on my desk (and had been giving me nightmares). I can tell you, it was a very welcome relief. Especially since I knew I was off again this Monday and as it happened, so was a good friend of mine. Admittedly, this friend and I have had a few significant "rough patches". We hadn't known each other that long but there is definitely a prominent respect for each other's intelligence and character. I guess that was the true cement in our relationship. We're alike in some ways but probably very different in all the ways that matter most. Anyway, my friend was going to pick me up Sunday night, so we could have some fun and hang out (Sunday and Monday). Truthfully, with my car still in the shop from breaking down Wednesday, after shelling out $421-only to look forward to giving the shop another $400 (that we just discovered today), the anticipation of hanging out with him for a couple of days, was the only thing that made the day remotely "palatable". Then after a disagreement (just minutes after taking my car right back to the shop I just drove it home from), we decide that it's best that we don't ever speak again. Okay, I confess, it stung a bit. I confess, it didn't feel good but he wasn't wrong. I mean, anybody that you choose to spend your off day with, should bring you joy and peace, and if you're really lucky, passion. But I think we'd just gone down the wrong road too many times before, to recover. At first, I was pissed, livid really. I was thinking WTF?! Why did I spend all that time trying to be friends again?! Why was I ever excited with the prospect of learning more about him?! And most importantly, why did I even care that we decided not to ever speak again?! Then it hits me like a ton of bricks! 🧱 It's all just another unpleasant but necessary bump in the road. It could be one of those experiences that'll make me want to treat the next guy like dirt but then, maybe it's one of those unpleasant learning experiences that builds character and substance (at least, that's what I'm telling myself ). Maybe it'll help make me an even MORE awesome woman for the next guy. Maybe I just needed another subject for a blog entry. Who knows? It was after our blow-up that I started thinking about when I told my supervisor that I couldn't do anymore work and how much of a little whining BITCH I felt like, when I said it. But then again, when I let myself "be taken there" (be vulnerable), look what happened? The heavens opened up and allowed me to think about other things, like that $400 the car shop is now ;trying to bleed from me. Oh well, I'm sure there's a $400 lesson there too, I just haven't learned it yet. Smooches! 💋
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