Category : Romance and Relationships
Blog 48
Showdown At Broken Heart And Bended Knee
First a disclaimer; This entry probably won't be that interesting to you, I just need to get some stuff out (you know this is therapy for me). So, Friday night was interesting and a bit scary, to me at least. I hadn't been to my favorite night spot on a Friday night for a few months now, so my best friend and I decide to go. As expected, I had a great time dancing, drinking and innocently flirting my tail off. Then, about midnight, guess who walks in the place while I'm dancing my bootie off on a ledge by my seat? Yep, the infamous dude (relationship gnat) from my past, steps in the door. I'd seen him (there) maybe only twice since our break-up but I hadn't actually talked to him face-to-face since April '06. At first, I tried to act like I hadn't seen him (and that he hadn't seen me) so I could get sis to settle the tab and sneak out the back but I was spotted. After about 45 seconds of hanging by the nightclub entry, he comes over to my table and says, "Chauny, how have you been?" I reply "I've been fantastic". A few more minutes of idle small talk and he goes for the jugular and gets serious. He says,"Didn't you get the text message I sent you last week?" (the one I wrote about in the last blog entry). With the dirtiest, most serious look I could muster, I reply, "Do you want to get into this now? Because you're not supposed to be texting or calling me. So, if you want to get serious about it, we can." he says, "No, sorry Chauny. I'm sorry about everything. I messed up and I came tonight only to see you." DUH! I tell him that he shouldn't have done that because we were (and have been) over and though I'm not mad at him, I have no desire to continue any kind of relationship with him. I reminded him of all the stuff I'd written (and told him) about before; his ridiculous "feminine" tantrums, his selfish and unappreciative behavior towards me when we were together, etc...I also reminded him that at his behest, we were no longer together in the first place and he needed to accept with that...blah, blah, blah...you've read it all before. Other people that I'd earlier been innocently talking with, before his unexpected and unwelcome appearance, started making their way back to my table, since you-know-who showed no signs of leaving. Admittedly, you-know-who has a horrible jealous streak, so in between conversations-that didn't include him-he asks me if him standing there was upsetting me, since there were men around that obviously wanted to talk to me. I tell him that it is simply not possible for him to upset me ever again and he needn't worry about who's trying to talk to me because it wasn't any of his business. He apologizes but doesn't budge from my table. After the long, animated conversation with him got redundant (and boring) I decided to close our tab out and leave. My plan was to leave him standing there in the club but without invitation, he followed me (and sis) outside anyway. It was raining, so I get in my car and prepare to drive off. As I get ready to close my door, he wedges himself in the opening and asks (again) for another chance. I told him we'd talked about it before and there was truly nothing else to discuss. Sis, a bit tipsy but lucid enough to start trouble, interjects during my conversation with him, of our (made up) plans to go and have breakfast that night/ morning. He asks me if he could please take us out for breakfast and all the usual crap. I look over at her, sporting that devilish "little sister" smile I remember from childhood. I told him that I appreciated his offer but that it wasn't a good idea. Finally, I gently (but firmly) push him out of my car doorway, start the car and drive off, leaving him standing in the rain. A fitting and poetic end, I'd say. I breathed an audible sigh of relief but I'm not 2 minutes into my drive home when the phone calls start. Between 1:32 AM and 2:18 AM, he called me about 25 times! I kid you NOT! Several times he called within the same minute. It's like he'd call and hang up when the voicemail came on and just redial. When I didn't answer my cell after about 10 calls, he started calling my home number over and over. I'm thinking, this is nuts, what's wrong with him?! What does he think is going to happen by him stalking me like that?! I turn the ringer off my cell and home phone (in my room) but I can hear that he continues to call, from the phones in other rooms in the house. Around 11AM the next day (Saturday), he sends me two text messages. The first simply says, "PLEASE CALL". The second says, "Chauny, am having a party 2day, if u would come. I came out last nite coz of u. Can we meet and talk pls. I have always had u in mind (serious)." WTF?! Is he kidding? Is he sane? Is he obsessed? I think he thinks if he proposes marriage, all his obsessive behavior will be forgotten but we all know it wouldn't (and couldn't). I know that if I did marry him, the only way I'd be able to leave him is in a pine box. Honestly, I know I've joked about it many times before but for the very first time, I was really scared. I even let our dog have free reign of the house that night (which I never do) because she's a fantastic 'alarm'. I kept my phone in bed with me (Friday night-early Saturday morning), to call 911 should he unexpectedly show up. I'm sure he'd driven by a few times but he hadn't knocked or come into my yard. I have to say that I was most concerned about the safety of my family (sister)...more than me. I mean, I'm the one that let him into our lives and if anything happened to her, it would sort of be my fault, you know? That thought haunted me all night and through the next day. You read about those exes that snap and kill the ex-girlfriend/ wife/ lover, the current boyfriend/ husband/ lover, the family and the family dog. Needless to say, I never responded to any of his attempts to contact me and the harassment has since stopped (at least temporarily). Despite a shaky start, the rest of the weekend was fabulous. After making up last week, I got to hang out with my friend and I have the most fun I've had in a great while, that wasn't party or nightclub-related. Monday, he drops me off at my house after lots of good times, laughter and gorging ourselves at one of my very favorite restaurants... and all is right in the world. He leaves and before attempting an early afternoon nap, I go to check my MySpace messages and the very first one is one in which the subject line says, "I Saw You Friday Night". I must look exactly like my pictures on my page because I get that a lot...people leaving me messages saying they saw me here or there. Or, even if people see me out, they'll say they've seen me on MySpace, which I think is pretty cool. Anyway, I read the message and it says that he'd seen me at the club and that I looked like I was having a great time and that I looked like a lot of fun and that I was really cute (all true incidentally). I don't remember ever seeing this guy before but I asked him (through MySpace) why he didn't say anything to me that night. He said he saw a guy talking to me and he thought he was my fiancée. At first, I didn't know who in the hell he was talking about and how he made that jump (to fiancée?)...but after a while, I deduced that he was probably talking about you-know-who. I still don't know how he made the "fiancée" jump. So, even when you-know-who isn't officially in the picture, his presence manages to make itself known regardless. He's like used gum stuck to the bottom of my shoe on the hottest day of Summer, in Texas. Or, that sticky booger you try to inconspicuously flick off your finger, that never comes off (without tissue). I have readily accepted the fact that you-know-who will always be the block of cement chained to my ankles, my albatross or that grotesque white-tipped pimple on the tip of your nose that keeps coming back. But he's also my reminder of a place I never want to revisit, so I suppose that alone makes him a very useful part of my life. At least, until he vandalizes my car and burns down my house.
Posted : 2007-06-19 11:06:00 AM Created : 2007-06-19 09:52:00 AM Visible to : Public
Blog ID : 278058834
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