Originally posted on August 10, 2007 at 4:06am
I always eat sushi
with chopsticks. I always leave a tip. I sometimes floss my teeth with my hair.
I don't put up with difficult personalities (family or "friends"). I
always wash my hands after I use the bathroom. I don't like shaking hands,
especially after I've just washed my hands. I rarely talk on the phone or answer
the phone and if you called and didn't leave a message, I'll assume you dialed
me by accident. I would rather slam my hand in my car door, than give up my
laptop and wireless internet service. I love olives so much (green and
black), that I would probably prostitute myself for a lifetime supply of
them. I never give up where self improvement issues are concerned,
I give up very easily where difficult relationship issues are concerned (I
already wrote that didn't I?). I hate when people drive slow in the
left/passing lane. Ideally, I think the man should be the head of the
household, as long as he takes on all the responsibilities that go along with
that (I don't want or need that kind of pressure). I smoked ganja before
but it made me paranoid and aggressive, so I quit. The boyfriend that I used to
smoke with, later got hooked on crack cocaine (see what might have happened
if I didn't quit when I did?) The first record I ever bought was The Main
Event by Barbara Streisand (it was a "45"...30, 40 & 50-Something
year old peeps? Remember those?). I think that Nina Simone was a goddess and
that Prince is an alien (when is he gonna start looking old?) I think I
should've been on the old TV show Fame and married to Leroy (until the
episode where he "came out of the closet"). I played with Barbies until I
was about 14 years old. My sister and I hot-glued pubic hair and nipples on all
of our Barbies. We also used to buy the cheap, hollow "Barbie" dolls, cut slits
in the pubic area and put those tiny craft-store babies in them, so when you
held them up to the light, they looked realistically pregnant (that's what
happens when you play with Barbies until you're 14-but we did that when we were
about 10). I'm still great friends with the guy I lost my virginity to.
I don't and can't love anyone more than my sister and mother.
So, whoever I end up with better understand that and love them too. I think that
advanced degrees absolutely, positively DO NOT denote intelligence (I know
quite a few idiots with doctorates). I have heterosexual girl-crushes on
Tyra Banks, Beyoncé, Grace Jones and Judge Judy. I have to fall asleep with the
TV on. I like Country music more than Jazz music. I'm afraid my
ideal marriage might involve my husband living in another
state. People (individuals) never make me nervous or intimidated, only
(possibly bad) situations make me that way. I can't snap my fingers on my
left hand. I try to avoid boring people (zzzzz) and men that don't buy drinks at
the club (and won't go away), like The Plague. I have an extreme phobia
of oversized things (standing close to large statues or posters with huge
faces on them). That oversized phobia of mine, does not include male
organs. I don't swim in public pools anymore because I'm afraid of getting a
staph infection or urine in my hair, eyes & mouth. I can't whistle. I think
that ear wax is there for a reason but I don't like the taste (so if we're
dating and you like "ear play", you'd better clean your ears). I have a
weakness for tall men. I don't eat refined sugar anymore. I don't drink beer.
Chewing gum makes me burp. I like my fried rice cold and my wine room
temperature. I have a problem swallowing pills. I grind my teeth when I sleep
(or so I've been told). I would never get a tattoo (I think). My
shoe size is a solid 11 and my pant size is 10-12 (yeah, my feet are bigger
than my butt). I have a very high tolerance for pain and a low tolerance for
bullshit. Needles and shots don't scare me in the least, unless
they're filled with heroin or HIV. I guess the point of this exercise is for me
to see my issues/problems/phobias here in "black and white", whether good or
bad. It's a very cleansing and enlightening experience. Try it! I don't think
I've ever admitted some of this stuff before but I'm happy to share them with
you. If you remotely cared, it might help you gain some insight into my colorful
and eccentric (okay...weird) personality. What other excuse could there be for
me?
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