Originally posted on Wed 11/19/2008, 5:18 AM
Current mood: grateful
Category: Parties and Nightlife
This morning as I worked diligently, listened to my Bone Thugs-N-Harmony and contemplated what my 2 (food) starches would be tomorrow, I wondered when life would slow down enough for me to do "grown up things." Though I'm almost a permanent fixture at my favorite dance club, I'd consider myself far from being a Club Bunny. The "club life" doesn't really appeal to me per say, I just like having a regular/nice place to dance my make-up off every week. It's my only exercise people! I pretty much chilled Friday, danced Saturday night and went to karaoke Sunday night. Thankfully I had Monday off, which was good because when I left karaoke Sunday, I smelled like somebody dumped 174 pounds of cigarette ashes on top of my head and made me stand there like that for 48 hours straight. My clothes, hair and purse (made of cloth) stunk so bad that I was scared to sit in my car (to go home) or on my bed (to take my heels off) when I finally made it home after 2AM (Monday morning). Even though the stench of that night probably rivaled that of a smoldering, rotted corpse, it was still worth it. Karaoke Sunday was interesting on many different levels, mostly because of the attention our table received from the 'colorful' youth that night. There was an especially odd moment that night when one of the young cutie patooties finished his song on stage and announced to the crowded club that he is into older women while looking directly at our table (in front). Talk about putting you on blast! Sis says;"That's cold, why'd he have to look at our table when he said that?" I'm certain it was meant to be a compliment but I felt a little better when the karaoke host took the mike from him and said; "Older women? Every woman in here is "older" to you! What are you, about 12?" He really did look almost that young. The only reason I knew he wasn't was because he was drinking and I know they check IDs there. There were some equally odd moments with some of the individual visits made by some of the more..hmm, how should I put this…"eccentric" youths that night. But I'll save those stories for another day (I see a continuing comedic saga developing from one in particular). Anyway, even having Monday to recover wasn't enough time because I was only one millimeter away from falling into deep RIM sleep all day at work today. I expect the rest of this week won't be much different. We're doing karaoke Wednesday (which is ALWAYS a blast), then I have a 'must attend' party this coming Saturday thrown by the best party-thrower I know. Her parties always have the perfect women-to-men ratio, usually about 4 to 1, in the woman's favor. I'm not sure what's on the agenda for Friday yet but I'm sure something interesting will come up. Sunday, I'll probably go back to the place where cigarette smoke goes to die. This time though, I'll leave early enough to cleanse the smoky nicotine impurities from my person and get to sleep at a descent hour for work the next morning. I won't have Monday to recover like last weekend. Aside from all that nighttime fun, the questions that keep weighing on me are much more serious in nature; When will I feel like slowing down? When will I feel selfless enough to devote my life to another person, like a child or a partner? I mean, I can't go on like this forever…or can I? I must say that apart from the periodic low points, of which I usually post here, I can definitely say that I've probably never been this happy (on the whole) in my entire life. Yes, a childless, romantic partner-less VERY happy life. There are many reasons for my overall happiness and going out is a small part of it. I suppose to me, the carefree nightlife represents freedom and freedom is extremely important to me. I don't think I could thrive in a caged bird environment, it seems so morose and depressing. Being/feeling confined would probably feel a little like death to me. I'm not afraid of death but I'm intensely afraid feeling trapped. Most times, I don't feel bound by tradition and what the world says I'm supposed to do as a 'grown-up' but there are flashes genuine worry from time to time. However those moments of genuine worry, are fleeting and far between, more so than the happy moments (thankfully). I just don't want to make any permanent mistakes, you know? I'm just hoping and praying that I'll instinctively know when it's time to follow another path. Hey, you never know, this other path may even include the nightlife in some way. I may meet my future life-long mate in a nightclub. Or, I could open a night/dance club that you can bring your child to (Child Protective Services would have a field day with that one). The possibilities are infinite if you don't unfairly tie yourself to outdated tradition and the game Follower the Leader. As a follower, I always sucked badly at that game anyway, for obvious reasons. I learn from others but chart my own course. I've always been that way and I can't imagine being any other way. And today of all days (November 18, 2008), on the 30 year anniversary of The Jonestown Massacre, I can't think of a better way to be than that. It's a macabre note to end on I know, but it's a valuable lesson to never forget.
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