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Originally posted on 2/18/2010
Manipulating Miss Manners
Category : Life
I'd often feared what real life fall-out would beset me if my blog was ever used against me in a court of law. Thankfully, I read yesterday that after a lengthy lawsuit, a federal magistrate ruled that Facebook gripes are constitutionally protected under the First Amendment ("free speech"). I sure hope my employer is aware of that ruling. I might still be skating on thin ice since most of my blogs are originally posted on MySpace (and imported to Facebook). We'll just say that the federal magistrate's ruling considers MySpace postings under the same Facebook protection. I hope. I try not to blog until I've at least worked through the ugly thoughts in my brain but that's not always possible. Repetitious irritation, frustration and blinding fury have caused me to wear index fingertip-sized indentions on my temples by repeatedly rubbing them as I quietly count to 10 with each infraction. The combustible emotional energy started a few days ago. At least, that's when I noticed the most recent series of events. It started with waiting 20 minutes for a shockingly bad breakfast made by the lovechild of (the cartoon version of) Sleepy Hollow's Ichabod Crane and Meth-Head Gumby. It continued through witnessing, up close & personal, quite possibly the laziest employee in the entire country, where layoffs are as common as colds. And it concluded yesterday with a "friend" confusing me with an idiotic moron dumber than a box of tampons. (Well, the word "concluded" is premature on that last issue because I'm still pissed about that one.) I'm about to make a slightly self-serving, yet very honest confession about myself. Here it goes; My manners are legendary. When I choose to exercise it, my exemplary etiquette is beyond reproach. HOWEVER, there are times I simply want to bust a cap in a dumb azz, just for being born and breathing my oxygen. I want to yell over bathroom stalls at stinky, turd-dropping butt-biters; "Hey, put some water with that!" 😠 (multiple meanings) I want to tar & feather the loud food-smacking, knuckle-cracking, coffee slurpers sitting around me at work. 😡 If they made rubber gloves long enough, I'd like to shove my fist down the throat and out the sphincter of the next shithead that pisses me off but I don't. My manners keep me in check for roughly 25 days out of the month, even with my apparent aggression issues. I'm committed to "keeping it classy" ...when I can manage it. Perhaps I can't manage it today, in fact, I'm pretty sure I can't. Even simple things aren't going too well for me now. I spent over 2 valuable hours getting my nails done yesterday and today, it feels like all 10 of my nail beds are on fire. 🔥 On a positive note, I have 10 nail beds and I also probably have the prettiest nails in the entire world right now. (Thanks John, I love you!🥰) 💅🏾 My biggest challenge at the moment, is calmly dealing with a person I once had great affection for, without resorting to the terrifying temper I was once famous for. This person has tested my patience to it's absolute limit and I'm having difficulty containing just how angry I am about it. When people try to manipulate me, it absolutely infuriates me. It really does. It infuriates me to the point of honestly weighing prison time over just doing whatever the hell I feel like doing. When pathetically manipulative moves are attempted on me from someone I genuinely care about, it makes me mad, sad and few other justifiable negative emotions I can't think of right now. But frankly, the overwhelming negative emotion I'm experiencing right now is feeling thoroughly insulted. I mean, how dumb do I look? (Don't answer that.) What kind of erroneous "dumb azz" scent am I giving off to folks? I want to ask overly-confident people that try to pull the wool over my eyes, "Do you honestly believe, deep in your heart♥-of-hearts♥♥, that YOU'RE smarter than I am?" 🤨 WTH?! It seems my polite nature gives misinformed manipulators the wrong impression about me. Why do they even go there with me? I'm giving them my A game, and they're trying to find some way to cheat me out of my hard-earned victory lap. Why do I have to go through this crap? In my mind, I'm fuckin fabulous! Yes, fabulous! I'd think every invited associate would be clamoring to make, and keep, my charming acquaintance. Now, I realize that declaring myself "fuckin fabulous" is a horrendously egregious breach of etiquette but it's way better than the defiant departure from polite society blog entry I started to go with. Trust me, this was gonna go in a *whole* different disgusting direction. In my attempt to keep it classy with world class Miss Manners style, I didn't write about a candid confession I'm privy to regarding passing a turd roughly the size and shape of newborn conjoined twins attached at the forehead. 💩💩 Look, I know that last comment was ridiculous, rude and crude but I've personally said it, seen it and done it. Manner-less manipulators can drop that last dishonorable "manner-free" mentions out their poop shoot and flush. 🚽 ♥♥♥
Posted : 2010-02-18 01:24:00 PMC Created : 2010-02-18 02:10:00 PM Visible to : Public
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Originally posted on 2/18/2010
I'd often feared what real life fall-out would beset me if my blog was ever used against me in a court of law Thankfully, I read yesterday that after a lengthy lawsuit, a federal magistrate ruled tha...
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