Originally posted on January 29, 2010 - Friday
Current mood: pissed off
Category: Romance and Relationships
I don't have a
comically-enhanced, literarily-entertaining take
on life entry to share with you today. I'm just royally pissed.
Would you believe
it? I've encountered my third psycho bitch‡ in just a few
weeks! First there was the phone stalker, then the cyber stalker, now the text stalker. It started this morning while I'm on the daily
grind. I'm just sitting there working, minding my own damn business and then it
starts. The first text was
an obscure; "Wts up" from a number I
didn't recognize based in a city I don't know anyone from. I reply with a
curious; "???" Let me state here
that there are a VERY select few that are privy to my cell number. Even
stumbling drunk...I mean, (ever so) slightly intoxicated, I've never
given out my cell number in a moment of alcohol-induced weakness. Never.
It just doesn't
happen. So any INTENDED individual that calls or texts my "private"
cell number, only has that number because I wanted them to have it, which
I can honestly say is a very small number indeed. I just wanted to make that
crystal clear. Anyway, I guess my
"???" text reply wasn't 'revealing'
enough. I then start getting a long series of very badly written and atrociously
spelled texts explaining that they (this mystery
person) could see that I texted them (to
that mystery phone number) but that they (this mystery person) couldn't reply back to me
from that phone because it was busted...blah, blah, blah. I kid you not,
these texts were coming faster than I could even read them. Then I'm like, wait
a minute, *I* supposedly texted *you*?
WRONG! It was clear to me from the very first juvenile text that this
was some silly person playing on my phone but at the time, I just didn't know if
it was a male or female. «?» I simply reply,
"Sorry you have the wrong number."
Then, I get a reply indicating that the “texter” was someone
named "Briana" and that they saw my phone number in their old, busted phone and
that they were just replying back to me now because they just got a new phone.
Hmmm, you get a new phone because you busted your old one, so
you decide to get a new phone number too, just for good measure? Riiiiight. (I was gracious enough not to mention that though.)
Even though this infantile ruse was not very well thought-out
by the perpetrator, I'm still a little intrigued. I'm curious to see where
they'll go if I give them absolutely no direction whatsoever. «» I emphatically
reply with reserved and undeserved politeness that they were mistaken by
texting; "Sorry Briana. You still have the wrong
number but I'm glad you have a new phone now. Take Care." Then this fool apparently forgets everything they JUST texted
me less than 2 minutes before by replying; "O yea,
this ain’t [name omitted to protect the
ignorant]." Huh? I'm thinking to
myself 'Damn, another
one?!' I just can't get away from a silly bitch‡ to save my
life! For a fleeting
moment, it occurred to me to fuck with her a little but it seemed a little like
playing chess with a chicken. Pointless. Maybe even a little arrogant (on my part) too. I
consider myself supremely and superiorly self-appreciative, not
arrogant. Man, I get more
attention from silly bitches‡ than I do from
serious prospects. As "luck" would have it, I happen to know a dude with the
name she mentioned but he & I hadn't talked in a long while, so I'm not
quite sure why she directed her insecure ridiculousness at me. Maybe he routinely
mumbles my name in his sleep. Yeah, that's
probably it. I'm sure I'm pretty hard to forget. Maybe her dogmatic digging was due to a serious torch he's
still carrying for me. That's completely
understandable...and logical. Not! Seriously though, some females need to really get a clue. For
the dignified preservation of all
womankind, my sincere hope is that the chick this morning was some
love-sick 12 year old girl who stole a phone from her much older and unknowing
unrequited obsession...but I know it wasn't. This behavior is sad, embarrassing and downright shameful in
the name of all sensible women. Why would a woman,
I mean female (because the word woman should be reserved for
those of a higher distinction), want to show her hand like that? ♥♣♦♠ Why would
any chick want to announce to another chick that he, whoever he
may be, doesn't care about you as much as you want him to? That's makes no
sense to me! And I'm an
absolute free-thinker. I can identify with or appreciate a lot of
different kinds of people that I don't necessarily have anything in common with
but I just don't get silly bitches‡. To add to the absurdity of the silly bitch's‡ character,
quality of man is of no significance to her at all. It doesn’t matter how homely, pitiful or dimwitted these
"men" are, these silly chicks try to hold on to them with all their might. Does that make any sense? (That question wasn't directed to
the sensible reader.)
°Here Ye! Here Ye!° To all the silly bitches‡ around the globe: You have no class. With regard to me, sleep soundly. You can rest assured that if he's with you or ever has been, I don't want him because he's obviously a terrible judge of character. Almost as bad as being a terrible judge of character, he also has very poor taste. I have a pimple on my azz that's classier and has more character than you do. I bet it tastes better too.
°Here Ye! Here Ye!° To all the silly bitches‡ around the globe: You have no class. With regard to me, sleep soundly. You can rest assured that if he's with you or ever has been, I don't want him because he's obviously a terrible judge of character. Almost as bad as being a terrible judge of character, he also has very poor taste. I have a pimple on my azz that's classier and has more character than you do. I bet it tastes better too.
‡ Formulaic Footnote
‡
I am intentionally
profane. I am fully aware that I used the word "bitch" 6, now 7, times in
this entry. My use of that word here may seem gratuitous to you but to me, it's
not. I use that word more on my 15 minute commute to and from work than I did
here. And no, I don't really have a pimple on my azz (at
this point in time).
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